Joseph Travel Blog: The No Bully Zone

First day of school 8th grade and 5th grade.

We have successfully completed the first full week of being back in school. It was riddled with crazy mornings of not being able to find our shoes, a new puppy to take care of before we leave, and dinner time table talk of bullies.

It seems that it doesn’t take long for those bullies to show themselves on campus. They may look like normal everyday kids but as soon as they start talking you can easily spot them. My son piped up at dinner one night asking about whether or not I had been bullied as a child. It was a surprise to both of my children to hear that was stalked by a bully for a few years in grade school. My daughter shared about one of the girls in her class who was talking and sharing secrets about her behind her back. The conversation touched on how we can deal with those bullies in different ways, by ignoring, confronting, and asking for help. Bullies are alive and well even in the no bully zone campuses of my children’s school, but that’s not the only place they are alive and well.

Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory have released a new book titled “The Cure For The Perfect Life” in it they address some of the bullies that we grow up with but never seem to shake. The bullies of Perfectionism, Performancism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination. As I have been slowly working through the chapters in this book I am realizing just how many bullies I still let hang around in my own heart and mind. And, if I am honest these bullies show themselves every time they begin to nag at the inner parts of my being telling me I am not measuring up to whatever it is I need to measure up to at the time. These bullies keep me from truly living free and even worse they cause me to turn around and bully someone else as I try to cover my own inadequacies with judgementalism, and criticism.

One of my favorite examples of living bravely comes from my daughter. At the beginning of 4th grade we moved her to a new school where she didn’t have any friends. I remember asking her fairly often in the first few weeks of school if she made any new friends. One day she replied “Yep, I made one friend and two enemies!” I smiled wide and gave her a huge high five. She modeled for me the the confidence to be who you are no matter what others thought even if it meant making enemies. She lived bravely and freely.

Cheri and Kathi offer 12 cures for the perfect life. The life that the bullies in our head tell us we need to live up to. These 12 cures are a step by step guide in how we can begin to let go of unhealthy beliefs and the need for approval from others. Setting myself free in the process to be exactly who God made me to be.

In our dinner time conversation we ended by discussing why someone becomes a bully and how most of the time these bullies are the ones who are truly desperate for real acceptance and love from others. I’m still making my way through the 12 cures but as I do I am praying that I bravely love, boldly encourage, courageously forgive others, and in doing so live more free in who I am.